What's holding you back?

What's holding you back?

Nothing.

Something..... What's holding you back?

(Thinking.....close eyes......searching......breathing....... feeling......).  Fear.

Fear of what?
(sigh)
Fear of my hopes, of achieving, of being of great service.
Fear of not achieving and staying in my cozy shell of "nothing happens". Predictable.
Fear of the physical, internal damage that I fear will arise by holding back, holding in.
Fear of my voice.
Fear of being misunderstood.
Fear of being found out, that I am crap, my ideas are crap....I am insignificant.

How does that feel in your body?

Like a bottle of nerves being shaken, about ready to burst. Like my cells are suffocating.
Except when numbed.... 
Except when a sudden burst of inspiration brings me a high wave of tide until it subsides.....sometimes to a lower plane. Then I feel sunk. Worthless.

How do you want to feel-- what is the opposite of that feeling?

Calm and rhythmic ebbs and flows with peaks (from the inspiration) and back to equalized. Steady, even through "the negatives". Well-paced.
Soothed nerves and self-assuredness and a feeling of command and acceptance. A patient "knowing" and trust in the creative process. I feel strong and courageous.

What will it take to get there?

Action. Fear subsides when I take action....steps bring me one step closer. Steps of creation and proof that "I can". Steps that inform me of what comes next. Holding the vision in my heart, but don't look too far ahead (which creates the overwhelm I know all too well).

But, I've taken many small steps and the Fear remains....... Ok, a little ongoing, bite-sized fear keeps me motivated to do my best, but.......

But......?

But...... (close eyes, breathe, feel......) it's THE step I need to take that I'm afraid of.

Ahhh, now we're getting somewhere........can you define THE step?

Ahhh, yes... I can name it and I can start to look at "the why" and "the how" of it.  I just needed to see the block to begin to tear it down.

And the fear lessens. The unknown becomes known.

Ok, I got this. Thank you, Friend Fear. 

You're welcome. That's what I'm here for. ❤️


#friendfear
​#emotionalfreedom