 Photo credit: unknown from Pixabay Remember that spark you had as a young child? The one that made you light up with joy and excitement? The way you expressed yourself so freely? Many of us, myself included, lose that spark somewhere along life’s journey, having replaced it repeatedly with what we deem to be a more socially-accepted way of being. As John Bradshaw, author of "Healing the Shame That Binds You," says: “Something happened…. so that we lost that spontaneity, verve and enthusiasm. Nothing more tragic than to see a child who’s had the life beat out of them…..withdrawn, depressed,…… “.
But what if the spark of that Little You isn't actually gone? What if that part of you is simply stuck under layers of self-preservation, self-doubt and years of practice donning a persona of societal expectations? This is where the journey of self-love begins. Why self-love? Explaining the benefit of self-love is like describing the color blue to a blind person; they won't truly understand until they experience it themselves. Even though I had a good childhood, I struggled with self-esteem, depression and anxiety as a young adult. Through my commitment to my kundalini yoga and meditation practice and emotional healing work, I've experienced a strength and joy within that I never knew existed. A love of Self that can only be experienced. It's time to discover this in you! The Mask of Shame: Why We Dim Our Light Think of the "life beat out of [the child]" metaphor as the separating from your authentic self, or your soul. As a child, your entire expression came from your soul— carefree, alive and in full alignment with yourself. External influences, however well-intentioned, began to chip away at that confidence. You began to change your mind; your emotions alerted you but most of us did not have the wise guidance to understand the whispers of our own emotions. Are you wearing a mask? Here are some signs:
Healthy Shame vs. Toxic Shame: Understanding the Difference It's important to distinguish between healthy shame and toxic shame. Healthy shame is a useful signal telling you you’ve deviated from your best self, prompting you to learn and do better. Toxic shame is the internalization of these messages, essentially convincing us that we are fundamentally flawed for having made mistakes. Instead of course-correction, as healthy shame helps us do, we fall to self-criticism and seek a constant need for validation (people-pleasing). Unmasking and Reconnecting with Your Spark If you recognize yourself here, you’re likely wondering how to get back to your true self. How do I separate what is truly me and what is not? The reality is the lines and truth can get blurred. It’s like the proverbial layers of the onion. The ‘real you’ gets unveiled, one thin layer at a time. The good news is: each layer of healing feels like a mountain of relief. And once you experience this, you will be less afraid and more willing to risk peeling off another layer more often. It empowers you to keep going. Your Authentic Self: Practical Steps
Tools for Self-Love: Here are ways to build your self-love muscle:
This is just the beginning of your journey. A coach or therapist can be a valuable guide, but you have the power to start uncovering your authentic self and shedding the mask of toxic shame. Find your soul’s voice and live from that space. You are worthy of living this life ignited with your true spark! With love and gratitude, Anna SachKiret P.S. Comment "UNMASK" if you recognize you have one. Can you sense that inner spark that's been waiting to be free? Let me know!
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Feeling drained? Stuck in a funk? Maybe you’re feeling it right at this moment. Maybe you’ve been feeling it for a while. Or, maybe this is not you at all right now but you’ve been there. But we’ve ALL been there, feeling down in the dumps, in a state of fear, or dragged down by that dreaded sense of unworthiness. Your energy feels zapped, as if someone turned out your light. You feel dim, dull, not shiny, and filled with self-doubt. The good news is, you have the power to change this.
I’m not talking about shopping with credit cards. I’m talking about charging up your energy– the power source for your light! Think: “When my light feels low, charge it up!” 💡💡💡 So how do you do that? By activating the power of your energy field. Let me explain. Let's start with a visual You know when you’re with someone who is a curmudgeon, a debbie-downer, an angry grump? They darken the space they enter, like they just brought in a dense, gray cloud into the room— and it feels heavy. On the other end of the spectrum, someone who is alive, dynamic and energized can change the mood of the room, brightening and uplifting everyone they encounter. Expanding the light! This is your "energy field" (also known as your aura) at work. Imagine it as a field of energy that surrounds you. This energy is influenced by your thoughts and emotions. When you're feeling down, this energy gets depleted. The dimming or brightening of your energy field happens unconsciously in the course of your day. Fortunately, you can learn to consciously expand your energy field, which can have a powerful impact on your mood and well-being. In the practice of kundalini yoga, there are breathing exercises, postures, movements, and meditations that specifically work on expanding your energy field. Some practices are long, and some are super short. I want to introduce you to a super short one that takes just 1 minute of your time. The Aura Charger (aka the ego eradicator) This is a simple breath meditation to charge your aura and cast away the heaviness so you can feel lighter, brighter and clearer. Practice this for 1 minute, 3 minutes, or more as needed— and charge yourself up to shine bright. Click the image below for this life-changing practice. And this is how you turn on your aura light switch. This one key alone will turn you around when you are down. It will put you in a better mood to change the trajectory on how you feel, how you perceive life, and how you choose to support your best Self. Like I said, life changing.
With gratitude+grace, Anna P.S. Do you have a go-to that quickly turns you around when you are down or have low energy? Reply back and let me know what it is. Or, if you don't already have one, let me know how The Aura Charger feels for you. I sense a beauty in this world, underneath all the noise, the damage, the fear. I sense a rich, deep earth nourishing and holding us, while our toxins try to hurt. I sense a bold fearlessness within each of us, begging to take the lead and break us out of the holds on our hearts. I sense love in the dark. I sense light finding its way through the cracks. I sense hope and freedom...... Our future is built on the gifts of each one of us. Not the unconscious gifts of forced "should be's" and false goals that do not truly align with us. The gifts that come from the very core of our being, that birthed us. Empowered gifts that hold no inner conflicts. A way of being that knows its path, its Truth. What are you doing to connect with that gift, those gifts, on a regular basis? Is that not the purpose and habit trajectory of our lives? Every day we connect with these gifts and, when we think we got it, keep going. For 40 days, 90, 120, 1000.....and gain mastery. Mastery over our subconscious minds, mastery over the noise, mastery over our external environments prodding, pushing, forcing its way upon you...no. Pause. Create pause. Create spaces. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe slow, deep, long.....claim your space.
the roles that I've adopted....mom, friend, sister, spouse, auntie, teacher, coach, my age, my race, my look. I am none of those things and all of those things. I am, I am. The meditation "I am, I am" is a wonderful reminder that I am. Period. Just as the tree just is, the worm just is, the fruit IS. As part of a whole...no. As the whole in one part. It is my favorite Rumi quote: "You are not a drop in the ocean but the entire ocean in one drop". Identifying as something isn't the depth of who you are. It's a container. As "mom", this container gives me anchors for my life journey: live as an example, nourish my children with love, wisdom, strength, food, water, clothing, shelter, care when they are ill and when they are not, support for their ups and downs, etc. Lest we flit around in the wind like a kite whose lost its holder, its tie-down, an anchor provides a temporary positioning whereby I can live and grow with presence, in the present. Like a biodegradable pot for my starter plant--it holds her and offers a simple guidance. She begins to extend her roots down and reach up towards the sun as a beginner of something....what IS this world? And what is this present moment? She grounds and she reaches, expands, breathes. And as she grows, grateful for the path and
"Untangled" by Lisa D'Amour, PhD, I expand to define our experiences as adults. Some of us may not have even mastered some of those teenage strands. Regardless, we are each on a journey of evolving strands. I may be further evolved on one strand but less so on another. And someone who I think is somehow "better" may be more and less evolved on opposing strands. It matters not. There is no judgment or comparison. There is only our experience. And, with awareness, we begin to appreciate our evolution of experiences.
Our American culture comes with a drive for competition. I'll focus on the one that calls for each of us to aim for our personal best. We compete against our own experiences to improve each time, to learn from our mistakes and failures, to lift ourselves back up with courage and compassion, to allow rest and reprieve as an active habit. There's a motivating force when seeking our personal best. I believe you can live in complete satisfaction and love with who you are and what you've achieved in this moment, today, this minute, WHILE ALSO seeking your personal best over time. There is no misalignment here to seek to evolve your experiences and become more elevated in consciousness through these evolutions, while also feeling "successful" in your present. When you seek to compete against others, your happiness is tied to an external presence outside your control. What is in your control is to develop and strengthen your habits, your physical and mental stamina, the edges of your own personal container-- where's the discomfort? how much will you push it today? Which strand are we evolving? Which needs attention today? I sense there's an understanding, a shift, a loving pull to connect with our inner wisdoms. I sense there's an openness to see it, feel it, embrace it. I sense there's change happening and, for those of us who connect deeply within with curiosity and awareness, bold and beautiful things await. And Are. Here. Now. I sense we are breathing more deeply, grounding with our nourishing roots and expanding from that place of connection. I sense love is winning. I trust. I breathe. I feel. I am. REIMAGINING. Imagine. Image. -ing. re-. Imagine what could be. Imagine the impossible being possible. Imagine with creative abandon. Imagine with passion. Imagine Love. Expressed. Image of darkness. Image of light. Image of whatever is right in front of you. What do you see? What is in your vision? What vision does your mind create? What if you hone that vision to see clearly? What if you expand that vision with a -nation, the image your mind sees? Image expands to imagination. Do-ING, Be-ING, Live-ING, Imagine-ING. Create-ING. Go forth with -ing like zing with wings. Sing. Re-do. Re-be. Re-live. Re-imagine. Re-create. Re-birth. A vision was seeded, spread, nurtured and created. Does that vision fit the change of times? Does that vision continue to meet our needs? The needs of who? Is there Love and Compassion and Integrity for all in that vision? Must we re-imagine, re-image, re-seed, re-visit, re-create, re-birth? A nation, a people, a culture, our very own Souls? We inside are deeply perfect, just as we are. Yet some of us have yet to meet the Soul of perfection that we are. Re-engage. With Self. As you had done in utero and at birth. Re-ignite the wisdom of that spark of light that is You. And each of us together can imagine and set in motion a re-evolution of the systems that oppress and hold us back. We can re-imagine a world of Love, Compassion, and Integrity so that each of us will know Joy. Re-joice. Re-imagine. Everything.  A PRACTICE. In reimagining, draw on your visions (literally and figuratively). Practice exercising your eyes to stretch, lubricate, and relax the six muscles around each of your eyes. Connect your movements with breath, keeping yourself aware and connected with your practice. Here's a beautiful daily practice by Nathan Oxenfeld you can try. As you practice, notice your breath and also be consciously aware of any resistance that greets you. Meet the resistance with curiosity and wonder. Feel how it touches you internally-- what emotions come up, where in your body does it go? Embrace it, acknowledge it, and affirm its truth for you. And then, let it go. Repeat this noticing, acknowledging and letting go throughout the rest of the practice. Do a few warm-up stretches for your body: your neck (head rolls, which also stimulate your thoracic nerves), your pelvis (pelvic rolls, standing, which also stimulates your sacral nerves), your hamstrings and spine (stretching up and folding into a forward hang, always leading the downward motion with your naval center), the flexibility of your spine (standing or floor cat-cow), and shoulder drops (to release tension in the neck and shoulders). Stay attuned and in rhythm with your breath throughout these stretches. A yoga and meditation practice. There are so many to choose from. The point is to allow for movement of your physical and energetic bodies in order to balance, circulate, and nourish every part of your body. I like to practice kundalini yoga and meditation. Ask me if you are looking to practice this with me. Here is one you can try meanwhile: Surya Kriya. This kriya ends with a deep, self-healing meditation in silence, following the breath. If meditation is new for you, ask me and I can share a meditation great for beginners. Stay connected with your breath throughout your day and drink plenty of water to stay hydrated and clear. And take hold of your own reimaginings. Invite others - you don't have to do this alone. In fact, it often requires the support and spirit of community to ignite positive change. Imagine and re-imagine. You are Love, Light, Compassion and Integrity in the perfect Soul that is you. I read somewhere that we are often exhausted by the things we DIDN'T DO rather than the things we did do. And honestly I can understand how this is so. When I get things done, I feel energized. When I don't, I feel an invisible pressure or weight that comes with anticipation of things awaiting my attention. Anticipation that is exhausting usually reflects fear, dread, resistance. You can feel it in your body. Usually when there is something I want or need to get done but I feel tired, that anticipation is remedied simply by starting whatever the thing is. Once you start, then the dread and resistance stops and..... you're off! Go, girl, go! And there are essential oils to help you take that first step of starting.... In addition to my Motivate oil, I find that in this time of TRANSITION from summer to schooldays where the rhythm of the house and family shifts dramatically, I need a grounding blend like doTERRA's STEADY®. I am looooovvvving this blend. It has been a welcome alternate grounding blend to Balance®. It is a rollerbottle which includes Amyris, Balsam Fir, Coriander, and Magnolia, and fractionated coconut oil-- a blend made specifically for Kids but I love it as an adult. Give it a try!
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AuthorI am the Essential Soul Mama. I am a mama, a soulful-spiritual teacher, an intentional storyteller, and a lover of stories of all kinds, in all forms. I write about emotions, parenting, natural health options, mind-body-soul connections, and anything that elevates our lives. Archives
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