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Let's talk about that feeling of being stuck. You put yourself there, you know it well – the one where you prioritize everyone else's needs, keeping your own desires to yourself in order to avoid creating any conflict or becoming a burden. We’ve all been there, myself included. Some call this “people-pleasing”, however that term never felt quite accurate to me. It wasn't about going out of my way to please people; it was about staying in my own way, shrinking myself and my dreams in order to avoid rocking the boat. Think Sandy Olsson (Sandra Dee!) in the late ‘70s movie Grease. Remember her transformation from sweet and demure Sandy to the fierce and confident woman who rocks that black leather jacket, a lioness mane of hair, and sings, "You're the one that I want"? (We'll hold off on the "need a man" part for now). This is the kind of energy we want to harness – shedding (self-)expectations of being the "good girl" and embracing our free and authentic selves. Sweet & Sidelined to Sweet & Sassy
This fear of self-release, disguised as a desire to support others, keeps us trapped in a self-constructed cage. We crave the "thrill of life" but fear venturing outside our comfort zone. So how do we break free? Here's the thing: when our will had been broken —whether in one aspect of our lives or in many— it can be hard to rely on our own willpower to break the mold, however intellectually viable it may seem. We know we want to cut free and may even know what to do, yet we've been conditioned for so long to prioritize others that reigniting that inner spark of energy takes a little extra something. This is where practices like kundalini yoga and meditation come in. This technology offers a path to clarity and action, reinstating our will and giving us the energy to combat the fears that bind us. Many kundalini yoga practitioners, including myself, have experienced this powerful effect: a way to reconnect with our inner strength, balance our nervous system, and break free from those limiting patterns. Rediscover your personal power (hello, third chakra!), reconnect your sense of safety and belonging (first chakra activation!), and tap into the feeling of both oneness and expansiveness (sweet seventh chakra!). This is your invitation to unlock yourself and experience that motivating, activating, self-affirming energy that lets you be you— to star in your own life. But the question remains: how much effort does it take to get started? What's the promise that makes it worth it? Think of it as daring greatly to step outside your safe, zap-free container to re-evaluate your actual exposure. Today. It might be scary at first, but the rewards are limitless. Just like Sandy stepping out, letting herself be seen as the strong and beautiful gift she knew herself to be, you can tap into your inner tools to shed the "good girl" persona and take center stage for your life, living into your fullest expression.
Aren’t YOU worth it? (Yes, 1000% yes). With grit and grace, Anna SachKiret PS. I often share about the transformative power of kundalini yoga and meditation and the wisdom of your emotions, such as shame and desire. Many of us carry the “good girl” narrative or other painful thoughts and stories that keep us in our own way. If this resonated for you, stay connected with me by subscribing to my blog. PSS. Let me know in the comments how this landed for you! Have you ever felt stuck in the role of the "good girl"? What are your biggest challenges in asserting your own needs?
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 Have you ever found yourself repeatedly tiptoeing around a situation, carefully measuring your words and actions? Maybe it's a partner with an unpredictable temper, a work colleague who takes things personally, or within a social circle or community where one wrong move can spark drama. You feel a sense of constant vigilance, like navigating a minefield. You’re on edge, even while seeming calm and cool. This is what it feels like to walk on eggshells.
Why are those eggshells even there? Who put them there?! Is it you, or them? It's easy to blame the reactive person— the "short fuse” —for creating the eggshell environment. You’ll find a lot of agreement on the source of your plight. Sometimes, however, there is a more nuanced and subtle dynamic at play. You, the eggshell walker, might appear perfectly functional and good-natured on the surface. After all, you’ve probably become an expert in the art of keeping a peaceful minefield. YOU hold this relationship together with this skill. Right??? Yet the only one aware of the eggshells is you. Underneath the masterfully-designed “peace”, there's a constant undertone of tension, a suppressed anxiety about saying or doing the wrong thing: the eggshells appear. Skilled peace-keeping can look like: a forced smile, a carefully calculated next step, a well-crafted text, etc. – each hiding your hesitancy to express your true opinion. Does this sound familiar, my eggshell-walking friend? If you are in fact not expressing your truth, what is the impact on that particular relationship? What is the impact on you? The Nimble Walker in a Freeze In my last post, I talked about the state of being in a functional freeze— your nervous system stuck in a freeze response. Imagine your nervous system like a car with different gears, shifting aptly to meet the needs of the situation. Ideally, we're running smoothly with a balanced sympathetic-parasympathetic set of gears, allowing for healthy processing and "social engagement” for your drive in the world. When suddenly faced with those eggshells in your path, you might shift into a "dorsal vagal state," which is a freeze response in the realm of the parasympathetic, or “rest and digest”, nervous system. Thus, you can show up surprisingly calm and functional on the outside, as you tuck away your true self to be sure you don’t suffer the consequences of running over the delicate shells. Sadly, neither you nor the other gets to know the true you —and what a loss this is. Over time, this constant vigilance —or functional freeze— can become exhausting. Indeed, the nimble eggshell-walker’s energy is often spent after enough time “in the field” presenting an incomplete version of you in safe-mode. So, how do we crush those eggshells and reclaim our authentic selves?*
*The good news is: the practice of kundalini yoga and meditation is powerfully effective at helping you help yourself through all five of these steps. Build self-awareness and self-compassion; strengthen and balance the nervous system and the vagus nerve; expand your capacity to breathe; feel and understand your fears and protective responses; connect with your self-worth through a regular habit of showing up for yourself with this practice. Remember, you are not alone. Many people struggle with eggshell-walking. By taking these steps, you can create a more peaceful and genuine existence for yourself. Love, Anna SachKiret PS. If you would like more on this topic, comment below “EGGSHELL-CRUSHING” and let me know if you have specific questions or things that landed for you. And if you would like personalized attention through these steps, reach me at my website to see if we are a good fit to work together. Peace+blessings 🌻❤️  Image by Moshe Harosh from Pixabay Do you feel overwhelmed?
If so, stop for a moment. Close your eyes and take a moment to check in. Where in your body do you feel the overwhelm? Do your nerves feel agitated? Does your head feel heavy and full, like a bobblehead, top-heavy, about ready to teeter head-first to the earth? How is your energy when overwhelm hits? Do you feel dull, exhausted, discouraged? What else? Give yourself a minute or so to check in with your body from head to toe. Notice what you feel where. Awareness is the first step towards resolution. What do you WANT to feel instead? Imagine how your body feels in this scenario. Visualize and feel your posture. Breathe into this renewed sense of Self. Now what? Consider these 4 essential tools and kundalini yoga-based remedies to conquer overwhelm and feel lighter, clearer and back on track.
Each of these practices offer a vital shift in energy, clarity and alignment, even when you’re not experiencing overwhelm. The best way to make these work for you is to practice when you don’t need it, so they’re available for you when you do. While breath, yoga, mantra, and presence isn’t exclusive to Kundalini Yoga, or to solving the seeming epidemic of overwhelm, they work on multiple levels at once to transform you at the physiological level, so you aren’t white knuckling your way through a state of overwhelm. It helps you stay in a more powerful state of mind to mitigate overwhelm in the future. It’s like setting the radio station to one you prefer to experience– one that promotes equanimity amidst all that is thrown at you. The purpose of Kundalini Yoga and Meditation is to help you tune into that radio frequency, allowing you to live in a material world as a more aligned and spiritual being. With grit and grace, Anna SachKiret P.S. - if you would like some meditations and kriyas to deal with overwhelm, email me for suggestions. |
AuthorI am the Essential Soul Mama. I am a mama, a soulful-spiritual teacher, an intentional storyteller, and a lover of stories of all kinds, in all forms. I write about emotions, parenting, natural health options, mind-body-soul connections, and anything that elevates our lives. Archives
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