The child expert
On more than one occasion, when my children were toddlers, I would ask our pediatrician specific questions to which he would answer, "You're the mom, you know best."
“Ummmm, YOU are the doctor. What the *$@! did I come to you for?”
While I didn't say this out loud, I do remember thinking "Whaaaat?" I was confused! My next thought was a mental pleading, “Please, please just tell me what to do. Please”. Yet, all that came out of my mouth was, "I know but do I know best?"
He was certain, but why wasn’t I?
After awhile, spending some time being a bit pissed off at my useless doctor*, I calmed down and tried. To know best.
First of all, I specifically picked this doctor because he was pro-breastfeeding and generally a parent-supporting doctor, meaning he supported your decisions even if they were off the mainstream medical trail. But I didn’t pick this doctor so that he can tell me to go get my own answers. Seriously, how the *&@! was I supposed to know what to do, especially when facing challenges I couldn't have even imagined previous to becoming a mom. Unless you have an experienced child expert living with you, you can’t have all the answers……. Can you?
The answer? Yes, yes you can.
It’s the most annoying answer in the world but it’s true: the child expert is living within you. The problem is, this expert isn’t always answering your questions, or even listening. As a parent, your job is to learn how to access this inner wisdom when you need help. Furthermore, to learn how to cultivate trust and confidence in this voice.
You can gain perspective by reading parenting help books and blogs or attending parenting workshops, meetings or playdates. But in order to strengthen your relationship with your personal child expert, you need more than perspective and knowledge. You need a clear connection. It’s like calling your very own 311 operator for helpful information from your current and ancestral life’s experiences who knows exactly how you want to raise your child, what variety of experiences informs your decisions, and whether to go right or left.
To establish a clear connection with your personal child expert, you start by learning to connect with your breath and to quiet your mind. Remove the static so you can begin to hear. Use simple tools to practice keeping this connection open and learn how to trust by taking action. Through experience and cultivating this relationship, you will find that you are able to respond to situations as a confident, decisive parent.
Get to know your inner guide and it’ll take you down a path that will not only help you parent better but will help you to BE better. A whole human being…. that happens to be an amazing parent.
I use my connection with my own personal child expert as well as my experiences as a certified kundalini yoga instructor and mom to empower parents to listen to and trust that voice inside of us. Through coaching, meditation and practice, your own personal child expert will grow in confidence, as will your faith in your abilities to be that parent you always dreamed you would be.
*Note: my doctor was amazing and gave me the first step towards believing in myself. He essentially lifted up parents to trust in themselves even if that meant he saw his patients less. So grateful for people like this.
I am the Essential Soul Mama. I am a mama, a soulful-spiritual teacher, an intentional storyteller, and a lover of stories of all kinds, in all forms. I write about emotions, parenting, natural health options, mind-body-soul connections, and anything that elevates our lives.