Indeed, some of us don't know how to let go and let loose. It is very uncomfortable. But just as the polarity is, we mull in the dismal or constraint and we lose balance in life. We teeter into, dare I say, darkness.
So for those of you who are on the proverbial "dark side" of fun, let's start by acknowledging this. Awareness is the first step to all healing. Let's start to breathe-- l o o o o o o o o o n g, deeeeeeeeep breaths. Inhaling and exhaling through our nostrils. Feeling the breath press the diaphragm muscle down with each inhale, bringing that air deep into our bellies and then up to our chest and shoulders. With each exhale, allowing the chest to fall, drawing our navel towards the spine, pulling that diaphragm up for a complete breath out. And continue with this breath until you feel calm.
Now keep breathing and ask yourself what's bugging you? Let's call whatever holds you back "fear". Be it actual fear of something or someone or an idea or negative self-talk or shame or guilt or anger or frustration, confusion, neediness or depression or some trauma or trigger that perhaps you cannot even pinpoint-- or maybe you can. Let's call it all "fear" for now.
After that beautiful, calming breathing you've done (which you can continue for as long as you like), think about this "fear" from this safe space. Do be sure you are in a safe space! Keep breathing, bring the fear to your awareness and begin to notice the sensations and feelings that come up. What does it feel like? Where do you feel it? Can you name this feeling? Is it stress? Is it grief? Low self-worth? Imposter syndrome? Stay with this until you can get a good sense of what it is you're feeling. Ask this feeling, why are you here? What do you need me to know? What are you trying to protect me from? What happens if I don't listen to you?
I know this doesn't sound like having fun but stay with me here.....
Now, consider what the opposite of this feeling would be? The opposite of the negative feeling. What would it look like? Allow yourself to feel it as if it is happening. What sensations arise? Where do you feel it in your body? Cherish it. Believe in it. Hold on to this feeling. Stay here until you've embodied the feeling-- meaning you are getting all those juicy, positive vibes from this feeling you created with your thoughts.
This is a little more fun, right?
Now ask yourself, what do I need to do to get to here? Listen in the silent space for your answer. Allow it to come from your gut, your heart, your feelings..... in other words your Soul. The language of your Soul is emotions. If it feels like you are in your headspace (the realm of the logical ego), go back to your feelings and then ask again. What do I need to do? Oftentimes these answers will come instantly. And oftentimes your logical mind might voice its opposing opinion. Try to stay with those initial, instinctual responses. The ones from your depth of heart and soul.
Alot of times, you are already starting to feel better and lighter, even before the solutions step. You may need to stay with these first steps for a bit or revisit them again before you can continue. The important healing has started: you are stopping to take notice. Your Soul needed you to listen and, feeling heard, you will begin to feel better. But let's finish this..... (If you need to do this multiple times to get past certain steps, it's totally alright!)
Now, your beautiful mind gets to help with this last step. Take action. Heed the answers your Soul brought to light and figure out how to make it happen. Have compassion for yourself. Know that sometimes you might not take your Soul's advice but, if you do that, acknowledge that you are purposely choosing not to do that. Again, awareness is key. You might act against your answers because a) you're not ready, you're feeling fear again--maybe another aspect of fear or b) you feel better just from the earlier steps and so you no longer feel the need to act. Either way, know that this "fear" voice will persistently come to you until you listen and act. It may take another form, in another situation, at a different time, but heed its needs you must, at some point. You want to not only feel better at the moment; you want to completely heal.
Now we're having fun.
It's from this space of self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-healing that you build a strong sense of self-love. And from self-love --true love of yourself-- you can let go and have fun! You can strike the right balance in life because you don't actually want extreme highs and extreme lows. In your self-aware state, you can enjoy life on your terms, for your whole Self.
And isn't that fun?
Yes. It is.
I am the Essential Soul Mama. I am a mama, a soulful-spiritual teacher, an intentional storyteller, and a lover of stories of all kinds, in all forms. I write about emotions, parenting, natural health options, mind-body-soul connections, and anything that elevates our lives.