Unmask Your Spark: Unleash the Power of Self-Love

Photo credit: unknown from Pixabay

Remember that spark you had as a young child? The one that made you light up with joy and excitement? The way you expressed yourself so freely? Many of us, myself included, lose that spark somewhere along life’s journey, having replaced it repeatedly with what we deem to be a more socially-accepted way of being. As John Bradshaw, author of "Healing the Shame That Binds You," says: “Something happened…. so that we lost that spontaneity, verve and enthusiasm. Nothing more tragic than to see a child who’s had the life beat out of them…..withdrawn, depressed,…… “.

But what if the spark of that Little You isn't actually gone? What if that part of you is simply stuck under layers of self-preservation, self-doubt and years of practice donning a persona of societal expectations? This is where the journey of self-love begins.

Why self-love?

Explaining the benefit of self-love is like describing the color blue to a blind person; they won't truly understand until they experience it themselves. Even though I had a good childhood, I struggled with self-esteem, depression and anxiety as a young adult. Through my commitment to my kundalini yoga and meditation practice and emotional healing work, I've experienced a strength and joy within that I never knew existed. A love of Self that can only be experienced. It's time to discover this in you!

The Mask of Shame: Why We Dim Our Light
​Think of the "life beat out of [the child]" metaphor as the separating from your authentic self, or your soul. As a child, your entire expression came from your soul— carefree, alive and in full alignment with yourself. External influences, however well-intentioned, began to chip away at that confidence. You began to change your mind; your emotions alerted you but most of us did not have the wise guidance to understand the whispers of our own emotions.

Are you wearing a mask? Here are some signs:

• Do you find yourself withdrawing from situations to avoid being seen?
• Is there a constant sense of uneasiness or feeling of not quite fitting in?
• Are you in chronic negotiations with yourself, battling the raging inner conflict?

Healthy Shame vs. Toxic Shame: Understanding the Difference
It's important to distinguish between healthy shame and toxic shame. Healthy shame is a useful signal telling you you’ve deviated from your best self, prompting you to learn and do better. Toxic shame is the internalization of these messages, essentially convincing us that we are fundamentally flawed for having made mistakes. Instead of course-correction, as healthy shame helps us do, we fall to self-criticism and seek a constant need for validation (people-pleasing).

Unmasking and Reconnecting with Your Spark
If you recognize yourself here, you’re likely wondering how to get back to your true self. How do I separate what is truly me and what is not? The reality is the lines and truth can get blurred. It’s like the proverbial layers of the onion. The ‘real you’ gets unveiled, one thin layer at a time. The good news is: each layer of healing feels like a mountain of relief. And once you experience this, you will be less afraid and more willing to risk peeling off another layer more often. It empowers you to keep going.

Your Authentic Self: Practical Steps

• Movement and meditation: Practices like Kundalini yoga can help release the pain and blocks built up from your past, create more flow and ease in your mind and body, and reconnect you with your true self.
• Self-Love Journey: Self-love isn't a destination, it's a lifelong practice. It’s not a path TO self-love but a path OF self-love, from the moment you start. Awareness is the first step: notice whenever your negative self-talk creeps in and commit to showing yourself kindness instead. You wouldn’t talk to a child (your inner child) this way, would you?

Tools for Self-Love:
Here are ways to build your self-love muscle:

• Self-compassion: Read "The Little Soul and the Sun: A Children’s Parable" by Neale Donald Walsch to cultivate connection and compassion for yourself and others.
• Self-care: Prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Commit to your self-care.
• Self-reflection: Reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and actions to better understand yourself and your motivations. Give yourself space to consider your childhood experiences which might have shaped your self-expression. Consider working with a therapist or coach for deeper exploration.
• Self-support: Start a gratitude practice or journal your thanks in stream-of-consciousness for a minute. These days, I like to journal 3 daily gratitudes: 1) something that I made happen, 2) something that simply happened to me, and 3) something mundane for which I am thankful. Gratitude is the antidote to negativity and creates a foundation for self-love.
• Seek support: Surround yourself with people who encourage your personal growth and self-love journey. Connect with your inner guidance aka your emotions. Talk with the challenging emotions and triggers of the day to find out what it’s trying to tell you, what you were meant to know by her presence. Meditation can help you approach this with curiosity and without judgment.

This is just the beginning of your journey. A coach or therapist can be a valuable guide, but you have the power to start uncovering your authentic self and shedding the mask of toxic shame. Find your soul’s voice and live from that space. You are worthy of living this life ignited with your true spark!

​With love and gratitude,
Anna SachKiret

P.S. Comment "UNMASK" if you recognize you have one. Can you sense that inner spark that's been waiting to be free? Let me know!